My kids lived in Slovenia for a year. When we returned to the US I felt reverse culture shock. (2024)

I'd never heard of Slovenia

I had an adventurous side. I knew I wanted to see the world beyond the US.

One day, my husband, who's in the military, came home and said, "We're moving to Slovenia," because of his job.

I didn't realize Slovenia was a country. At first, I thought he meant Slovakia. Even though Slovenia is between Italy and Croatia, it wasn't popular with American tourists at that time.

We moved to Ljubljana, the capital, with our 2- and 3-year-old sons in December 2016. I had a sheltered upbringing in a small town. When we first arrived, I was immediately surprised by how much English people spoke. I thought people would only speak Slovene.

I didn't realize that many people speak English in European countries as well as their own language. It was mind-blowing.

It was great for my kids

Ljubljana is a beautiful city. It's the perfect place to raise kids.

When we lived there, I did freelance social-media and website-management work, which was flexible around my children's schedules. I worked with US clients, so a lot of my work was late in the evening. It meant I could be around for my children when they came back from preschool.

I was able to be more present for my children.

America has a lot to offer kids, too, but I'm so glad my kids experienced a new culture. Here are the main cultural differences I noticed.

It's safer for pedestrians and cyclists

In Ljubljana, we could walk everywhere. It was more pedestrian-friendly than the US, and there are more places where cars aren't allowed.

Often, coffee shops were near playgrounds, so I could have a coffee and watch my children play. I was happy to let my son, who turned four in Slovenia, play independently 200 feet away while keeping an eye on him. It helped him learn boundaries in a safe environment.

He learned how to ride a bike there. I felt more comfortable cycling on roads with him than I would have in the US because I trusted the drivers to look out for cyclists and pedestrians. They're more used to them.

I let him take his bike to a skate park and ride down a barrel. I wouldn't have had the courage to let him do that in the US, but seeing other parents allow it gave me more confidence and pushed me as a parent.

My kids had more freedom to explore the city without worrying about cars, and they became much more confident and independent over the course of the year.

Preschool was cheaper, and there was less focus on security

Both my kids went to preschool in Ljubljana.

In the US, preschool was focused on security. When I first went to visit my kids' preschool in Slovenia, I accidentally wandered through the kitchen instead of the admin office. It was no big deal.

That wouldn't happen in the US — there are more security checks, for good reason. But in Slovenia people were less concerned about needing security in daycares and schools.

In the US, it's not uncommon for parents to pay $1,000 or more a month for preschool. In Slovenia, I paid around 300 euros, which is around $320, per child for a month of full-time preschool.

Parents in Slovenia attend preschool with kids for 2 weeks

My three-year-old, who was in the older kids' class, started two days after my first visit. At that point, we didn't even have a house.

In Slovenia, parents attend preschool with children for one or two weeks to help them acclimatize. On my two-year-old son's first day, we went to school for 30 minutes. We'd go for longer each day until we built up to half a day. When he could manage that by himself, we'd work on building up to a full day.

Parents don't do that in the US. We drop them off and say goodbye. There's nothing wrong with that—often, parents don't have the flexibility with work or parental leave to take two weeks off like they do in Slovenia. In the US, there's a busy culture. There, they were more sensitive to their children.

The Slovene approach made starting preschool easier for my son than it had been in the US. It was more nurturing for him. I even started learning a bit of Slovene from interacting with the kids.

My kids got organic food at school

I loved the food. In preschool, my kids got fresh, organic food. In the US, there is a focus on kids' nutrition, but food is more likely to be processed.

My kids tried foods they probably never would have tried if we hadn't moved there.

Moving back to the US was a shock

After a year, we moved back to California, in 2017. The US will always be my home, but I experienced a reverse culture shock.

It bugged me that I couldn't walk anywhere, even to a coffee shop. The pace of life was busier. I'd see people drinking coffee in their car while driving rather than enjoying it in a coffee shop. I missed the slower pace of life.

In Slovenia, we could go on a vacation to Croatia easily. Back home, we could drive to other parts of California or Nevada, but we weren't experiencing new cultures in the way we could in Europe. That bummed me out.

I'd go to shops and find myself overwhelmed by how many options there were.

We returned to Europe

I got pregnant and had my third child in California.

After a year in the US, we moved back to Europe, again for my husband's job, first to Vilnius, Lithuania's capital, in July 2019. I didn't know anything about the country before we moved. But, as soon as we arrived, I realized it was beautiful and clean. I fell in love with it.

Three years later, in 2022, we moved to Garmisch, Germany. We live near Zugspitze, the tallest peak in the country, and my kids have learned how to ski. We're still here now.